Rantings of a Lunatic

"Arabella. Elise. Mackenzie. I have recieved you letter and I am not happy. I will be arriving on Friday at 4 pm. Please be presentable and have my favorite food cooking...Bye."


And the message clicked off.


Crap, I thought, It's coming. And, I looked at my kitchen clock, in half an hour.


Why on earth did I write that letter to her? What a stupid freaking thing to do! I knew she'd want to come over the moment she read the first words but I never thought so soon. 


Rushing around my living  room I grabbed all the misc. items that didn't belong there and threw them in my closet.


Probably shouldn't be doing this but I doubt she'll check there.


My purple and brown couch was covered in dirty dishes, candy wrappers, random half-finished drafts, and probably some cushions hidden under there somewhere.


 Geeze, I hadn't seen those cushions since...well since I bought the couch! I think I remember it being stained to begin with so I guess this is a change for the better...in a way. She would kill me if she saw this mess though...


I ran into my kitchen, stepping over my extremely overweight cat and inching around the paper mache project I'd begun about two weeks ago. I'd become bored with the constant glueing and ripping so I let the mass of blues, oranges, and burgandys rest in my kitchen for awhile. Under the sink I discovered some various cleaning supplies that I'd never opended. After digging through the mess of more unclean dishes, unmatched socks, and cereal boxes I finally unearthed the trash bags. Unopened, of couse.


I sprinted back into the living room, "Meeerow!" accidentally stepping on Ignatious's tail, and tripping over my musical DVD collection, and began frantically stuffing the contents of my couch into the open bag. Soon it began to spill over so I grabbed and violently shook open another from the box. Eight trash bags later I discovered my cusions again.


Crap, crap, crappy-crap. I can't dissapoint her, she needs to see that I am a completely sane person. I ran my hands through my hair.


"Rrrrraaach"


The state of my living room was still awful. Compared to my living room, the couch had been a walk in the park. Anything I had ever bought was in this room whether it be together or in bits, it was here. My best bet was to go search for the janitors broom I knew was somewhere over to the left of the mess and push the mess out the back door.


Hair brush...toss. Cat toy...toss. Ethiopian flag...toss. Girl scout badge...toss. Spinny chair...roll.


"This. is. IMPOSSIBLE! I will never get anywhere in life and it's all her fault for doing this to me!" I screamed just as my cat sprinted out from under my hands.


When did he ge- No. That's not my issue right now. I need to find that...


"Broom!" At last, my cat was hiding it from me.


It took a whole twenty minutes to clear all of the junk from my living room but once it was done I felt rather accomplished. Now all I had to do was keep her in the living room and maybe she won't make me move back.


Freeze.


 Was that a knock? On the door? But it's only...four o'clock. Crap. I didn't have time to clean the kitchen or my room or anything else! I know this is going to be the end of me. No more freedom, no more tv, no more fun...


The knocking began again, this time speeding up and gaining volume with each thump. Then the yells started up.


"Arabellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Open this door right now! I know you're in there."


Finally, I walked over to my door, turned the knob as slowly as possible, and winced as my door squeeked open.


"Hello, mother."